Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
