i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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