i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
