im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize