you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
