Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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