I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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