I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize