I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
They have beer where we have blood.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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