it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
