if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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