you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
