it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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