What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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