it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
