Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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