At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
