oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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