Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
