'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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