white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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