Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
