dude i'm inner monologue high
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
