At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
They took my balls.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
