im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
