I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
