I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
