they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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