Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
