He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
