i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
