I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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