I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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