Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Congratulations! We have a period
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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