I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
