Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Randomize
