peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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