Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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