Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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