My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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