After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
