I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize