He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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