I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I could fuck to npr.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
