In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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