the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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