Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize