I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
