I need help removing her.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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