bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
