i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Boobs speak an international language.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
