I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
