i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
