I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
