Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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