Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
