and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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