I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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