Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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