I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize