I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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