We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
