So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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