Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
