Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
